Wednesday, July 3, 2013

My apology

I've been wanting to tell you these words since Monday. I wanted to make sure to write it down so I wouldn't forget any of it. 
I'm so sorry for all the pressure I've put on you, I never meant to make you feel scrutinized or to make you feel that you had no say in our relationship. I know we've had a rough couple of weeks, mostly due to my own stupidity, but I hope you can take this apology and believe me when I say that this is all done. I'm so sorry for everything, the name calling, blaming, and most of all not trusting you. 

The truth is that I have never loved someone, nor have I ever been loved so much by a person. I got so obsessed with the fact that I found the right guy for me, that I forgot what you and I were all about... Which is Love. 

I'm so sorry for putting pressure on you about things that truly in the end, aren't the most important thing in the world, the important things are that you and I are both happy in this relationship, and I am sorry for not making you happy.  Getting back to us is number one on my list, and I hope you can agree. After all, who needs a stupid ring to prove anything? I have your love, which to me, is everything. 

Yes, I still one day, want to get married, and i know one day we will get there, but as for now I am just going to be happy with what we are and what we are going to become.  

I hope you can take this as me asking for forgiveness to you and hoping to move forward. 

I love you very much Sean. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Love somebody, maroon 5

Well there was another argument this weekend about the moving in. After speaking with a close friend about my argument with Sean, he was able to make me realize a lot.... Like seam has been married before and hasn't been successful in that aspect, which makes sense why he wants things to be almost perfect. And I can appreciate that. The fighting over this is stupid and pointless. I do need to trust him, he never did anything to hurt me so I truly have no reason why not to trust him. I did bring up some points to him of what I need in our relationship, and he has made efforts to show, and I'm sure the better I continue with that, the better he wil and so on..  

Anyways... Something clicked this weekend, it makes sense why Sean is the way he is sometimes... And I get it. And though I may be ready, he isn't. And that's okay, and right now I understand it. I need to appreciate my relationship with Sean for what it is. Sometimes I should remind myself of the hardships I've been through and how long I have been waiting for a guy like him. He truly is so amazing and we really are good together, it's just this stupid thing that got in between us. We will get better.  I love him so much. And I know he loves me.

Here's to getting better and moving forward. Ask believe and you shall receive. 

Sean, you are amazing