I think the hardest part of this, is that I don't want to give up. I know he is the one, and I know that he will come back. When is my question.... I just want to know when.... that's the hardest part for me. We talked last night before I went out with the girls for a girls night, and it felt like we were together in a way.... I had mentioned NYE and asked what he was doing... he said probably nothing, I said oh me either... I made it blatantly obvious that I want to hang with him that night, even just to have a movie night ring in the new year and go our separate ways.
One of the hardest things is letting him initiate everything. I am always the planner and the one organizing everything, It's like... well why can't he just ask me to hang out? I am wondering when the next time I see him will be... I am not really sure, and unfortunately in order for me to give him the space that he needs, I can't smother him with texts... I only text when he texts me first... I haven't called... I think I have been doing really good. Just like I said, it just kills me to know that he doesn't initiate anything yet, but I guess I can see where he is coming from, he needs to heal.... I guess the good thing is, the more I am gone, the more he misses me.
I just truly can't wait until I see his face again. I miss him, and I want to be with him more than anything. I hope he truly means the words he has been saying, I think he does...I just want everything to be fixed! It will.. I have hope.... I will continue to be strong and keep praying. I love him.... I can't wait for the future.
Until tomorrow.
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