Periods suck. I hate all this sensitive bullshit stuff... Is it so hard just to be a normal person and not cry for no reason? Ugh... so I am staying with Sean because my aunt and uncle are in town, that's a different story on it's own but its just better for me to stay here for the time being. Let's face it...being here is hard, its really hard. Being in this house that Sean and I pretty much put together.... and now it's like I have nothing to do with it, and that sucks. It sucks a lot. I miss being here... so very much. I hate that I no longer live here and that this is no longer my house. Its hard, it sucks....I just know that my gut feeling is that I have to go through this to appreciate it in the future... I just hope that he realizes how much he needs me soon. I hope he feels the same way about me that I do about him, because there really is no other place I want to be, no other mans arms that I want to be with. I've never experienced a love like this.... its scary, especially since were in this stage of maybes.... I just want it to be yes, I want to be his girlfriend again, I am so tired of not being his.... I mean, I know I am... deep down, I know I am his. It's just hard. That's the only word I can say describes it, I wish he would just take me in his arms and say this is all bullshit, be with me... nothing else matters, ask believe and you shall receive? it will happen, eventually
So I got fired Friday... hahahahahah kind of a funny coincidence huh? Makes me only slightly nervous... just because I don't have the official offer yet, but I know they will definitely get to me with it tomorrow and I will be writing a blog on that... gotta remember to ask believe and then I will receive!
I think once we're engaged, I am going to make Sean a CD of all these blogs, then let him read the entries while he listens to the songs..... I miss him.... I am just happy I can spend the day with him today :) He is amazing after all....
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