If it's one thing I hate, it's being patient... I think everyone who has read this blog knows that by now... I wish that I was able to just be okay with everything, and how the process is...I mean I am, but I wish it would go by faster.... then again, do I want it to go by faster? I want a successful marriage and relationship... that being said, how much time apart should Sean and I have in order to 'fix' things... right now I feel like everything is perfect... like its going so well.... so why on earth do I care so much about a stupid title of being a girlfriend? Why? I know he's not looking, and I know his heart belongs to me... it's just so frustrating... especially since I see the way he looks at me, with so much love in his eyes, like he could just melt, so why do I care about a stupid title? It's just silly to me. I went to go see Sean today before he went to work, and it's just so great, snuggling with him, sleeping with him before work, watching him get ready.... and then when he leaves, I leave too..... I don't want to leave anymore. I tried not to mention my emotions regarding this at his house, and immediately as I came home I pulled out my laptop to write to you... so I guess you can say I am getting better. I just wish I could see me life in 3 months.... I want this whole recovery to be done with.... I know they say relationships are hard work, but dang... sometimes I just want to scream and cry and slap Sean all at the same time....I love him so much, and have so much hope in our relationship, and that is the only reason why I continue to work things out, just like that is the only reason he is continuing to work it out too... I need to keep that in mind.... I just miss him, and miss us, and want to get back to us and being together, at our home.... its hard...but I know it's worth it.
Moving on, I am super duper excited to start working... at least it will keep me busy and keep my mind off of this whole stupid stuff going on... I got my orientation letter which is exciting, so yeah, I am happy and excited to start making that money.
Ahhh, I just needed to write and talk to someone.....
I love you Sean
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