So it's been a couple days that i've wrote, sorry... just been busy with family guests here and whatnot...
So... I started writing that thinking that Sean was going to be in the bathroom longer, but he wasn't so here I am two days later, writing... Thank God because I need a good write....
Why do I always get so antsy when I don't know what he's doing? I know he isn't doing anything wrong, I just feel like I wish I was part of it... I know thats impossible, so why do I even care so much?
So as you know I have been spending a lot of time with Sean, and it's been going great... really good, better than ever.... I have dropped the teasing, and really been putting a lot of effort into our relationship. He loves me, I know he does.... but it's days like today that I truly can't figure out what is going on inside of my head.... like honestly, it's his last day off... I just want to spend time with him, then again, I spend some time with him almost everyday, so in all reality I just need to give him space... which isn't hard to ask for... that's what he initially wanted from the get-go anyways and I need to respect that... my question to myself is, why do I miss him so much when we aren't together? Is it because I am not his girlfriend? that shouldn't be the reason.... because he loves me, he isn't looking for anyone else.... I know that I am what he wants....
Sometimes I think I live in this magical place where everything should be out of a movie... like every kiss that I have with him should be a romantic and passionate one...that's so not true either.... like honestly, who does that?/.... like every minute that he's away from me he is missing me, which is true, because I know that if I am missing him, he is missing me... he loves me.... Luckily I haven't been so needy to him, at least that is what I think.... I try my best not to be so clingy with him... he already knows how crazy I am about him... no need to bug him about it, if someone was constantly doing that to me, I know it would drive my nuts.... This whole not having a job thing also doesn't help.... LOL I don't start until February 4 so I have lots of spare time, which I should really enjoy, because I know I will miss it.
Gah.... I just want to be in his arms tonight, maybe this new birth control they switched me too has truly made an impact on my hormones... because I have been far more sensitive than normal.... I don't know what to blame it on truly....
Anyways, I might write later, I might not... Ask believe and Receive..... Ask to see my later, because I miss you...
No comments:
Post a Comment